Monty Python Quotes!

“And after the spankings… the oral @#%$.”

“Well perhaps I could stay just a little while.”

Brave, brave, Sir Robin, Sir Robin is so brave–
He’ll cut off their arms and chop off their heads…


“those responsible for sacking the ones responsible for sacking the one’s responsible… have been sacked.”

It was an exceedingly cold winter and Sir Robin was forced to eat his minstrels in order to survive.


Arthur approaches an isolated castle guarded by soldiers

S : Where’d you get the coconuts?
A : We found them.
S : Found them? In Mercia? The coconut’s tropical!
A : What do you mean?
S : Well, this is a temperate zone.
A : The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
S : Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
A : Not at all. They could be carried.
S : What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
A : It could grip it by the husk!
S : It’s not a question of where he grips it! It’s a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
A: Well, it doesn’t matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here.
S : Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
A: Please!
S : Am I right?
A : I’m not interested!
S : It could be carried by an African swallow!
S : Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow. That’s my point.
S : Oh, yeah, I agree with that.
A: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot?!
S : But then of course a-- African swallows are non-migratory.
S : Oh, yeah…
S : So they couldn’t bring a coconut back anyway…

I got that from another Web site :frowning: I’m definitely going to watch MP sometime :slight_smile:


The quest for the holy grail is by far one of the best movies ever made.

King Arthur; I am Arthur, King of the Britains; May I speak to your Lord?

French CastleKeeper; We don’t have a Lord
(Speaking to his friend, I told him we don’t have a Lord… snickers)

What do you mean you have no Lord? What kind of Castle has no lord? Where is he?

Then comes the coconut lines Kirupa mentioned.

French Castle Keeper; Your Mother was a hamster and your Father smelt of Elderberries, now go away you silly English Ka-nig-it (knight) before I taunt you a second time.

I’m happy to know that you all take pleasure from British Humour :slight_smile: :slight_smile:
Python’s been a bit of an upbringing!
said the wafer thin mint, heeewwwwww someone’s gotta have seen that?

you got that one wrong phil…

He says,

“Ask your lord if he will join us on our quest to find the holy grail.”

“eh… I will ask him, but I don’t think e will be too keen on the idea… we already got one.”

aside to the other frenchman…

<snicker> “I told em we’ve already got one.”

No offense… it’s just one of my favorite exchanges from the movie… so I gotta correct it. :slight_smile:

It’s funnier your way. My memory sucks on this stuff. I should find a monty page so I quote correctly, your polite rebuke is kindly accepted…


"My name is…** TIM,**the Sorcerer…(as he throws a fire ball, Arthur and his fellows timidly clap and smile queerly in the background)

I think that you can buy the movie for 9.99 now. It’s well worth every penny. Glad you didnt’ take offense :slight_smile:
(truth to tell… I was thinking about it and I think I got a couple of words wrong in that quote… I guess none of our memories are perfect… It’s the spirit that counts… like this one)

“I’m the black knight… I’m invincible.”

“You’re a bloody fruit that’s what you are…Right!, We’ll call it a draw.”

“Oh yeah… run away then. Come back here you, I’ll bite your kneecaps off.”

(King Arthur chops off the Black Knight’s arm)
(The Black Knight kicks King Arthur)
“I cut your arm off!”
“No you didn’t”
“Then what’s that then?”
“Tis a flesh wound!”

-Dan :expressionless:

Y’know, Monty Python made things OTHER than the Holy Grail…

Not to berate you, of course - I realise that you weren’t expecting the Spanish Inquistion.

But, then… Nobody expects the spanish inquisition!!

ya did’nt they have a tv series in england for a while ? thats what i heard on the streets

Come back here so I can bite you to death!