Tales From University

talk random
1

Anyone have any amusing stories from University? And I do mean University here, not school or college (because you’re not old enough to do half the things you can at Uni :wink: ). This is a thread for us slightly older generations to reminise. :slight_smile:

To kick off… Third and final year, the exams are just finishing and we (the four people living in our student house) decide some kind of celebration is needed, preferably involving a large fire so we can burn the books from my C++ course. :slight_smile:

What with it being summer and all, we choose to invite all our friends round for a barbeque. So the four of us trot round to the local supermarket and fill up a trolley with all kinds of heart disease - burgers, steaks, chicken, sausages, the works. We get it home and into our 2ft by 2ft kitchen when we suddenly realise that we have no barbeque.

There’s no way we can cook this lot in the kitchen, so Jonty (one of the housemates) goes back to the supermarket in search of one.

He returns with a shopping trolley. No barbequeue, just the trolley.

He then proceeds to wheel it into the back garden and take a hacksaw to it. The rest of us pitch in to a dig a hole in the ground and fill it with charcoal from a petrol station. Jonty uses the sawn up trolley as a grill, and we (eventually) have one of the best barbeques I can remember. :slight_smile:

2

Sorry… I’m an old foggy but never went to Uni.

During highschool I drove past the University and mooned some people there… does that count?? :smiley:

3

I’ll let that one count. :slight_smile:

4

My friend and I were in a computer lab both working on a Psychology paper.

Our Biology practical instructor came in to do work of his own, and asked what we were doing. When we told him he gave us his ideas on the subject.

We then both continued our assignment both quoting some of the stuff he said to us.

Couple of weeks later we were called before the Psychology board for cheating on a paper.
We explained what happed, and as there were only 2 sentences that looked almost like a copy and paste job they couldn’t argue otherwise.

We were told consider it a warning, that they would be watching us !

5

While I am on the subject of cheating.

My same friend wrote a Philosophy essay, this girl asked if she could have a copy. Since they were in different tutorial classes’ different Honor students would be grading them.

So he agreed….

Well she basically handed up his paper with her name on it, and what do you think happened ?

She got a HD (high distinction) and he got a CR (credit) for the paper ! Well wasn’t he pissed, but what was he supposed to do !

6

Following the barbeque theme, a friend of mine wrote and essay on the importance of sculpture in the gastronomy, folklore and practices of a people (Basque people in particular) backed by a barbeque-like huge ironcast sculpture and a series of ‘art happenings’: barbeque party every thursday! :ch:

Incidentally, he forgot to mention demographics in his essay as at least one baby was born as consecuence of this ‘performances’.

7

On the topic of essays.

I wrote a paper on King Lear……

It was set as a creative piece of writing so I was creative.

I compared Kent to Mr Smithers from the Simpsons. I said that Kent was loyal to the King not through honor, but lust.

That Kent followed King Lear because he was in love with him and wanted to get into his pants. Just like Mr Smithers and Mr Burns.

Well I can tell you people……. The was the only F I have received for an essay my whole life !

I was just being creative DAM IT !

8

I had a Software Development course with C++ in my second year which we all hated with a passion. Throughout the lectures, the guy kept harping on about coding modules for software re-use, about how pieces of code could be kept and used later in other programs.

Come coursework time, our group took his lectures to heart and re-used parts of a mate of ours’ coursework for the same module the year before.

The lecturer noticed a few similarities and pointed them out. This was when we brought out his lecture notes and showed him all the stuff about code reuse.

He laughed and gave us 2-1’s for initiative. God bless him. :slight_smile:

9

On the topic of programming I have 2 stories.

I had a major Java exam, everyone has to pile into the computer labs and sit the exam. You submit your answers, and they are automatically tested and you get told then if you have passed or failed the question, so you can keep working on your code.

Me being lazy…. I didn’t know how to pass some of the questions, so I cheated…
I knew what the test program was going to feed mine, I knew what it wanted for output.

So I just took its input and ignored it, and used printf(); to give it the answers it wanted….

Ha ha ha, so many many people failed that topic…. When I told them how easy it was to pass they kicked themselves.

But I got caught out my next exam

Once again we piled into the labs to sit the exam, due to my laziness’ and work, I hadn’t done a thing. This exam was on C++ and Script for linux.

Unfortunately you had to write programs where you didn’t know what the input was, so I couldn’t cheat and give it the output it wanted.

As I knew nothing I decided to leave, I thought I would sneak out a back door rather than bump into the lecture who was wondering around, but because this was being held on a Saturday, the door that normally wasn’t alarmed was……

I slowly opened the door to make sure there was no one outside, BANG…. The fire alarm went off…… I rang for my life hopping no one was looking….

=( I have yet to sit that exam again, but I will have to this year…. =(

10

Kitiara you a comp scientist?

11

My room mate made up a word, used it in a term paper, and never got caught for it.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=catutionous&f=1

:stuck_out_tongue:

12

Thats funny…
Do you think they knew the meaning of the word in context.
Or just didn’t know it and couldn’t careless…

13

why did he make up words?

14

The word was used in context and he used clues to help those who never heard of the word (about 100% of all people) to understand it. Similar to the sentence in the above definition.

Making up words is fun - especially after pulling all nighters on the days prior to finals :slight_smile:

15

I was living in halls in my first year and on my birthday my friends decided to get me reeeaaaly drunk…

so there I was in our shared kitchen stumbling about the place at about 8:30pm when someone shouts to me ‘hey Mark… I bet you can’t climb outta that window’

well we were on the ground floor so naturally I stood up and shouted back ‘of course I can… watch!’ so I proceeded to clamber out of the window to the outside

having proved my skills in the art of falling out of a window I turned round to climb back in only to find the window closed and locked behind me. ‘Odd’ I thought to myself ‘my good and trusted friends appear to have accidently locked me out of the kitchen’

just moments later, they came pouring out of the door to meet me outside. What happened next wasn’t pretty…

having been wrestled and pinned to the ground by about 10 people, they proceeded to um… how to say relieve me of my clothes… yup all of them. Meinwhile back inside the kitchen my other ‘good’ friends proceeded to phone all the other corridors in the hall to tell them to look out of their window

naked, drunk and a little bemused they locked me outside for 20 mins or so as I banged on the door shouting ‘let me in!! I’m asssober asss a judge!!’

needless to say I got a few looks the next day, there were over 400 people in my hall and I still get reminded of it to this day

16

Had a friend who left the valve open on a vat of liquid helium and as they didn’t know how long it had been open were’nt sure whether it was going to explode (Liquid helium takes about 1/70 of the space of gas helium.

They had to get the swat team in to take the vat to the football pitches and shoot it from 1/4 mile away.

17

There was a tropical storm / hurricane that came through our area. They shut down the campus.

So, needless to say my friends and I went and played football on the common green. Mud Bowl!!!

After that we went over to the extremely high priced dorm’s front lawns (which were very hilly and muddy from construction and rain) and slid on our stomachs down the hills…like taking running flying leaps landing on our stomachs and seeing how much distance we could gain.

Now if all that wasn’t enough…

We have this huge fountain that is one of the hallmarks of the school. We proceeded to dive in, and well, we turned that fountain a nice muddy brown.

There are countless others, like playing golf in the dorm hallways…

18

*Originally posted by Samsonknight *
**Kitiara you a comp scientist? **
Yep, that was my major. :slight_smile: Though I would have killed for some of the degrees that you can do know… Ahem Asphalt Ahem :slight_smile:

I particularly liek the one about Halls, reminds me of something that happened in mine. :slight_smile:

I spent the first year in Halls, and so did the new rugby team. One night they evidently had a little too much to drink, then decided it would be a good idea to run round the entire Hall stark naked, knocking on everyone’s doors and flashing them.

Well, I was at the end of the corridor and heard the screams from the people down the hallway, so I resisted the urge to open my door when they tried. :stuck_out_tongue:

19

My freshman year my friends and I hijacked the hose from the dorm we were in and set up a bunch of slip and slides on the lawn. Tore up the lawn a little but it was loads of fun.

Also, we ripped out the screen of my friend’s window in his room and shot various things from the cafeteria with my 3-man water balloon slingshot(we accidentally parked a water balloon about 3 feet in front of someone right after the grass had been cut…water and grass clippings everywhere…)

20

In first year I had one day were my first class(Physics) was from 9 til 10, then I had nothing else until a maths tutorial at 4. What to do in the intervening 6 hours? Naturally I headed straight for the union, met a few folk and started boozing.
Several hours later with many a pint downed, there was only me and one other guy, both well on the road to liver failure.
We continued our unofficial drinking contest, and soon after this point my memory cuts out, next thing I remember I wake alone in a room. So I’ll tell you what he told me since he remembered.

We got hungry(as you do) at about 3 ish and left the bar and went upstairs for food. I should point out the guy I’m with, when drunk, speaks at a very loud level, no matter what he says he shouts it and doesn’t realise. So we’re sitting eating something-or-other, I’m trying to tell him to be quiet, he’s shouting at me that he is being quiet, I get frustrated jump on the table pull down the lower half of my clothing and moon him for about a minute, no doubt putting everyone off they’re food.
I then realise it’s nearly 4, tutorial time, despite his protests I insist on going, so I stumble my way down to my class(size of the class is about 15, hard to go unnoticed) I must’ve fallen asleep and awoke to an empty room. ****.

the next week, the tutor didn’t even mention it!!
I asked a guy in the class if he was there the week before and he said "no, but I was told some drunk guy came in and collapsed on a chair"
oh dear.